is eating your own placenta vegan?

I know, I know, you are probably so sick of hearing this question. Well, rest assured, I have found the answer! So feel free to pass it on the next time you're at the water cooler and you hear your bosses secretary ask you AGAIN "If I ate my own placenta, would it be considered vegan?"

My Google search bar has been getting it’s workout on… I have replaced my usual “how do you spell [insert any word with over 3 letters in it here]?” and “what does [insert any word that you do not learn the meaning of organically by age 10 here] mean?” and “When will Kim Kardashian’s Wedding FINALLY be televised?” to “Is [insert any word that is consumable here] vegan?” Everything I see has become questionable to me, the gum on my desk, the peaches in the cafeteria, the dirt I found in my beans the other night… Can I not bite my nails now? I can’t imagine nail biting being vegan. Hmm, I am going to have to Google that one.

Ok, I regret that. When Googling “is biting your nails vegan” the first thing to surface was a picture of a woman’s placenta with an article attached and in that article they asked whether eating your own placenta is considered Vegan, they came to this conclusion:
“At first thought eating placenta might be an affront to veganism considering the fact that placenta is an animal bi-product. But I think we decided that eating your own placenta did not foster a cruel exploitation of yourself and is, therefore, vegan.”

So, what I gather from this is this: it is ok to eat your own fingernails, but possibly not ok to eat someone else’s fingernails, UNLESS said person has given you permission to eat their fingernails, and in doing so no one becomes victim to cruel exploitation. I also gather that it is NOT vegan to eat your dogs fingernails (since they obviously can not give you written or verbal permission to eat their fingernails). *damn opposable thumbs*

Side note: Thanks to Google I learned it was "opposable thumbs" not "disposable thumbs" and I also learned how to spell "opposable", so thanks Google!

You would think that with all this finger nail talk (BTW I do not bite my (or anybody else’s)fingernails, I was curious for informational purposes only) and seeing placenta recipes online, my appetite would be curbed, but I regret to inform myself that it is still very much there. I was craving mayonnaise in my sleep last night. Although it’s very typical for me to crave food all hours of the night, I usually do not crave condiments alone. Plus I am a Miracle Whip kinda gal, so this veganism stuff is clearly just plain messing with my head.